Transformers Review

If you have not seen the movie, please do not read any further. This post contains spoilers!

Well, this weekend, I finally got to see Transformers. I was so totally tempted to go the night of the 3rd, but I was told I had to wait until a guest got here. I was just reading about how it did 70 million the first week, setting a record for a franchise debut (as opposed to sequels). I think it deserves all it can earn. Here's why:

The movie opens with a brief history of how the Autobots wound up on Earth. There is a civil war on their home planet of Cybertron, trillions of light years from Earth. They are fighting their enemies, the Deceptions, for control of the All Spark, a device that will allow them to control Cybertron. For eons, the All Spark has been lost, and all signs point to Earth as its resting place. Therefore, the Autobots have arrived, to locate the All Spark before the Decepticons.

The setting quickly changes to Qatar, where a mysterious MH-3 lands at a remote Special Ops base. After doing some quick research on the tail markings, we learn that the same helicopter was shot down in Afghanistan over a year ago. Something is very fishy indeed. As the helicopter touches down and powers down, we see the pilot is merely a hologram, and suddenly, the helicopter transforms into a Decepticon and proceeds to wipe out the whole base. Captain Lennox and Sergeant Epps (both of which are Joes who appear in the G.I. Joe vs. Transformers crossover comics) are several of the survivors who must trek across the desert to report what they saw.

Meanwhile, in California, Sam Witwicky (aka Spike from the animated series) is buying his first car. His Dad, who drives a very nicely maintained Austin-Healey Bug Eyed Sprite, psyches him into thinking he's getting a Porsche. What he finally settles on is an old beat up yellow 1977 Camaro with black racing stripes, sold by none other than Bernie Mack. "You think the driver picks the car, son, but I'm here to tell you that the car picks the driver." And the car does have a mind of its own, for it's none other than fan favorite Bumblebee! Yes, I know that Bumblebee was originally a VW Beetle, and many of us (ok, maybe just me) wanted Beetles because of Bumblebee, but it works. Just trust me! Sam is a bit of a nerd who has no luck with the ladies, but chance puts uber-hot classmate Mikaela in his car. In no time at all, Bumblebee takes both of them on the ride of their lives to meet up with Optimus Prime, followed by a Mustang based Decepticon. Optimus is not the only Autobot present; we meet fan favorites Jazz (a Pontiac Solstice), Ironhide (a GMC Sidekick), and Ratchet ( a Hummer H2). Sam is taken aback when Optimus knows his name. Optimus explains that Sam's great grandfather, an Arctic explorer who discovered the site where the All Spark landed, and also the leader of the Decepticons-Megatron! The exact coordinates of the All Spark were burned into great grandfather Witwicky's glasses at the time of the discovery-glasses which Sam still possesses and has been trying to sell on eBay. The Autobots' mission is clear. The Decepticons know who Sam is and what he means to finding the All Spark. The Autobots must get the glasses before the Decepticons do.

At this point, Lennox and Epps have been flown to Washington, where the NSA is handling the case. Decepticons have hacked into the National Military Command Center, searching for any lead on Witwicky and the All Spark. A team of hackers turned NSA analysts, led by Maggie Madsen (played by Aussie uber-hottie Rachael Taylor), are working to find the source of the attack. As Lennox and Epps explain their experience, the Secretary of Defense and the hackers are brought into the loop. A group known as Sector Seven has been keeping the Megatron secret since the incident occurred. The All Spark is an integral part of Hoover Dam, and Megatron is kept frozen beneath it. As both sides make their way to Hoover Dam, the stage is set for the final battle for the All Spark. And what a battle it is! Megatron is awakened, joined by Starscream, Devastator, and Bonecrusher. When Megatron speaks (voiced by Hugo Weaving), his first line gives you goosebumps. "You have failed me yet again, Starscream!" As the Autobots win the fight for the All Spark, the Decepticons pursue them to the streets of Los Angeles, where Optimus Prime makes an important decision: if the All Spark cannot be protected, it must be inserted into his chest, where it will be destroyed, along with him. As Megatron and the Decepticons wreak havoc, wounding Jazz in the process, it appears all is lost. Prime vows, as he did so many years before, "One will stand, and one will fall!" But at the last moment, before Megatron can deliver the final blow, Sam activates the All Spark, using its power to destroy Megatron. In the meantime, Ratchet has been working furiously to repair the injured Jazz and Bumblebee, but Jazz can't be saved. Prime thanks Sam for his bravery and for saving his life. With the All Spark safely in Autobot hands, the Autobots wish only to live in peace on Earth. Bumblebee, having developed a relationship with Sam and Mikaela, asks Prime to stay with Sam. Prime leaves the decision up to Sam, who quickly agrees. Sending out a signal to the stars, Prime informs any Autobots out there of the recovery of the All Spark, and invites them to Earth. And everything is back to normal...but there's always more than meets the eye.

I can't express how much I love this movie. Sure, they changed a few minor things, but this a very grown-up and serious movie. Some things have changed, like Bumblebee, but the best thing Stephen Spielberg and Michael Bay could have done was to bring Peter Cullen back as the voice of Optimus Prime. If you grew up with Transformers like I did, hearing him speak for the first time will give you goosebumps. The special effects are fantastic, nothing looks or feels fake here, unlike some of our other summer blockbusters. I can only hope it makes enough money to generate a sequel.