The Watch List

VIT is over!

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 01:42:00 +0000

Hallelujah!

I have finally wrapped up the biggest job of the year for me-Virginia International Terminals. VIT is a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Virginia Port Authority, and they operate four terminals in Virginia: Norfolk International Terminals, Portsmouth Marine Terminals, Newport News Marine Terminals, and Virginia Inland Port. Revenues for VIT approach a quarter of a billion, with net income at 68 million this year! I took this job over last year from a supervisor who left for Price Waterhouse Coopers. Of course, I worked with VIT a lot in my past life as an import agent with Expeditors International, but I never dealt with anyone in accounting. I have to say that while this is a big job, the accounting staff are some of the brightest and most organized people I've dealt with in my public accounting tenure. Almost all of them are CPAs-the ones who aren't either have graduate degrees or are like me, and currently studying to pass it. It's a model of what any corporation should be like-independent internal auditor (and a Firm alumnus), well-respected Board, and a CEO who can negotiate steamship lines into 10-year contracts.

This year, I did a lot better...we actually got draft financials to them the last day we were there. Following the financial statement issuance is a series of presentations involving management, the audit committee, and finally the full Board of Directors. I can actually finalize the audit workpapers tomorrow, which is unheard of in our firm. The public jobs we're a little better on, because we have to be. Anyway, I can breathe a huge sigh of relief as I head off to Charleston and Charlotte next week for a little R&R! Pictures will be taken and posted asap!

Simpsons Movie

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Sun, 05 Aug 2007 13:00:00 +0000

If you haven't seen the movie, don't read the post! Spoilers are included!

Ok, I haven't posted in a while, and when I do, it seems to be all about movies. Why is that? Right now, I'm working on the biggest job of the year, and also studying for the third part of the CPA exam. So life has been reduced to working, studying, watching racing, and going to see the occasional movie. I know what you're saying: You waited to see Casino Royale, but you couldn't wait to see the Simpsons movie?! No, I couldn't. Besides, I now have two parts under my belt, and I'm a lot more confident with this software. It was only a weekend anyway.

Well, despite all the hype in the media, and the uber hilarious commercials, I have been apprehensive about the movie. The past few seasons of the Simpsons have not been up to snuff, and it's hard to imagine that the movie could be much better. Of course, saying a Simpsons episode is bad still implies that it's funnier and wittier than any other show out there. It still hasn't lost its satirical abilities. But I was pleasantly surprised.

The movie opens with Bart and Lisa watching an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon involving a moon landing and ICBMs. After this is finished, Marge gets the family ready for church, and they're all late. Marge is upset at being tardy, but Homer says they won't notice, because they're too focused on their "phoney baloney God." They're embarrassed to find out that everyone heard Homer's comment. As the Simpsons take their seats, Reverend Lovejoy asks for a testimony. Grandpa Simpson stands up and has a vision that Springfield is doomed. Marge is greatly disturbed by this, and works to decipher Grandpa's vision. It seemed to revolve around an ecological disaster, but she isn't sure.

Meanwhile, we're treated to some father/son bonding as Homer dares Bart to ride his skateboard naked through the streets of Springfield. Hilarity does ensue as we see some hardcore nudity! The escapade ends at Krusty Burger, where Bart does a faceplant on the window and gives Flanders the shock of his life. It's here that the causal link between Grandpa's vision and the odyssey begins. Krusty is filming a commercial for his new burger, and it features a pig wearing a toque. After the director yells cut, Krusty orders the pig to be killed. Homer is horrified. "You can't kill a pig...Not when it's wearing people clothes!" Homer adopts the pig, and thus Spider-Pig is born.

Parts of Grandpa's epiphany are starting to emerge. Kent Brockman reports that Lake Springfield is reaching dangerously toxic levels, which could make Springfield and the rest of the state unliveable. An effort is made (including Mr. Burns) to stop dumping in the lake. All seems well, until one fateful night when Homer dumps the pig's crap-filled silo into the lake. All hell breaks loose, as the lake boils over and the EPA is alerted. EPA director Cargill, with approval from President Schwarzenegger, has dropped a giant dome over Springfield to contain the toxicity. Citizens of Springfield are outraged. Who would do such a thing. It's not long before they figure out it was Homer. Like the townfolk with pitchforks storming the castle, the Simpsons are chased out of town. Where will Homer's odyssey take him?

Alaska.

The Simpsons attempt to start over. Homer skis and plays Grand Theft Walrus at the Alaskan equivalent of Kwik-E-Mart. Marge is having trouble forgiving Homer for what he did, especially since he refuses to accept responsibility for his actions. She makes the decision to leave Homer, and heads back to Springfield. She documents her decision by taping over their wedding video-the last thing she grabbed before the mob chased them out.

Homer is at a crossroads. Marge said she left him because of his selfishness. Can he change to win her back and save Springfield? He thinks so. He employs a team of sled dogs to head back, only to find out that the ecological situation in Springfield has deteriorated rapidly. Cargill's idea to save it involves dropping a bomb through the top of the dome. Reuniting with the family, who takes a huge leap of faith to trust him, Bart and Homer use a motorcyle to ride up the side of the dome (successfully jumping Springfield Gorge!) and fling the bomb out of the dome just in time. Springfield is saved, to live on in future seasons, until the show become unprofitable.

I thought the movie was great-just long enough to keep from being dull, and outrageous enough not to be on TV. You don't have to know anything about the Simpsons to see it, but it helps. There are plenty of inside jokes that only the most rabid of fans will get. You have to stay to watch the credits, to see all the characters who didn't show up in the movie proper. Maggie's second word is "sequel." I wouldn't be surprised at all.

Transformers Review

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 22:50:00 +0000

If you have not seen the movie, please do not read any further. This post contains spoilers!

Well, this weekend, I finally got to see Transformers. I was so totally tempted to go the night of the 3rd, but I was told I had to wait until a guest got here. I was just reading about how it did 70 million the first week, setting a record for a franchise debut (as opposed to sequels). I think it deserves all it can earn. Here's why:

The movie opens with a brief history of how the Autobots wound up on Earth. There is a civil war on their home planet of Cybertron, trillions of light years from Earth. They are fighting their enemies, the Deceptions, for control of the All Spark, a device that will allow them to control Cybertron. For eons, the All Spark has been lost, and all signs point to Earth as its resting place. Therefore, the Autobots have arrived, to locate the All Spark before the Decepticons.

The setting quickly changes to Qatar, where a mysterious MH-3 lands at a remote Special Ops base. After doing some quick research on the tail markings, we learn that the same helicopter was shot down in Afghanistan over a year ago. Something is very fishy indeed. As the helicopter touches down and powers down, we see the pilot is merely a hologram, and suddenly, the helicopter transforms into a Decepticon and proceeds to wipe out the whole base. Captain Lennox and Sergeant Epps (both of which are Joes who appear in the G.I. Joe vs. Transformers crossover comics) are several of the survivors who must trek across the desert to report what they saw.

Meanwhile, in California, Sam Witwicky (aka Spike from the animated series) is buying his first car. His Dad, who drives a very nicely maintained Austin-Healey Bug Eyed Sprite, psyches him into thinking he's getting a Porsche. What he finally settles on is an old beat up yellow 1977 Camaro with black racing stripes, sold by none other than Bernie Mack. "You think the driver picks the car, son, but I'm here to tell you that the car picks the driver." And the car does have a mind of its own, for it's none other than fan favorite Bumblebee! Yes, I know that Bumblebee was originally a VW Beetle, and many of us (ok, maybe just me) wanted Beetles because of Bumblebee, but it works. Just trust me! Sam is a bit of a nerd who has no luck with the ladies, but chance puts uber-hot classmate Mikaela in his car. In no time at all, Bumblebee takes both of them on the ride of their lives to meet up with Optimus Prime, followed by a Mustang based Decepticon. Optimus is not the only Autobot present; we meet fan favorites Jazz (a Pontiac Solstice), Ironhide (a GMC Sidekick), and Ratchet ( a Hummer H2). Sam is taken aback when Optimus knows his name. Optimus explains that Sam's great grandfather, an Arctic explorer who discovered the site where the All Spark landed, and also the leader of the Decepticons-Megatron! The exact coordinates of the All Spark were burned into great grandfather Witwicky's glasses at the time of the discovery-glasses which Sam still possesses and has been trying to sell on eBay. The Autobots' mission is clear. The Decepticons know who Sam is and what he means to finding the All Spark. The Autobots must get the glasses before the Decepticons do.

At this point, Lennox and Epps have been flown to Washington, where the NSA is handling the case. Decepticons have hacked into the National Military Command Center, searching for any lead on Witwicky and the All Spark. A team of hackers turned NSA analysts, led by Maggie Madsen (played by Aussie uber-hottie Rachael Taylor), are working to find the source of the attack. As Lennox and Epps explain their experience, the Secretary of Defense and the hackers are brought into the loop. A group known as Sector Seven has been keeping the Megatron secret since the incident occurred. The All Spark is an integral part of Hoover Dam, and Megatron is kept frozen beneath it. As both sides make their way to Hoover Dam, the stage is set for the final battle for the All Spark. And what a battle it is! Megatron is awakened, joined by Starscream, Devastator, and Bonecrusher. When Megatron speaks (voiced by Hugo Weaving), his first line gives you goosebumps. "You have failed me yet again, Starscream!" As the Autobots win the fight for the All Spark, the Decepticons pursue them to the streets of Los Angeles, where Optimus Prime makes an important decision: if the All Spark cannot be protected, it must be inserted into his chest, where it will be destroyed, along with him. As Megatron and the Decepticons wreak havoc, wounding Jazz in the process, it appears all is lost. Prime vows, as he did so many years before, "One will stand, and one will fall!" But at the last moment, before Megatron can deliver the final blow, Sam activates the All Spark, using its power to destroy Megatron. In the meantime, Ratchet has been working furiously to repair the injured Jazz and Bumblebee, but Jazz can't be saved. Prime thanks Sam for his bravery and for saving his life. With the All Spark safely in Autobot hands, the Autobots wish only to live in peace on Earth. Bumblebee, having developed a relationship with Sam and Mikaela, asks Prime to stay with Sam. Prime leaves the decision up to Sam, who quickly agrees. Sending out a signal to the stars, Prime informs any Autobots out there of the recovery of the All Spark, and invites them to Earth. And everything is back to normal...but there's always more than meets the eye.

I can't express how much I love this movie. Sure, they changed a few minor things, but this a very grown-up and serious movie. Some things have changed, like Bumblebee, but the best thing Stephen Spielberg and Michael Bay could have done was to bring Peter Cullen back as the voice of Optimus Prime. If you grew up with Transformers like I did, hearing him speak for the first time will give you goosebumps. The special effects are fantastic, nothing looks or feels fake here, unlike some of our other summer blockbusters. I can only hope it makes enough money to generate a sequel.

Dario Franchitti Picks Up Third Victory At Richmond, Further Solidifies Points Lead For AGR

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 22:22:00 +0000

This past weekend marks the middle of the year, and what better way to mark the hump than attending the SunTrust Indy Challenge? I can't think of one. This weekend wasn't that much different that the past few IRL races at Richmond. We still had to contend with the threat of rain, the nightmare of parking and leaving. What I didn't plan on contending with was the tunnel traffic getting to Richmond. Leaving at 2 meant that it took us 45 minutes to get to the on-ramp for the tunnel. 45 minutes to go not even 3/4 of a mile-the length of the Richmond track! The traffic around here is getting to be as bad as DC, without the salaries and cool monuments to match. Thankfully, once our lane merged, we were able to fly to Richmond and get there about 4:30. I was so hungry I could've eaten the gravel in the parking lot. We bought our programs and decided to head to the willcall counter and pick up our pit passes. Well, the willcall had been moved from where it was the previous 5 or so years we've been coming to this thing. I was so pissed off the only thing that could calm me down was getting some food into my system. This year, we noticed a Famous Dave's BBQ stand and decided to go for it. It was good enough for there and then, but once you've had Pierce's BBQ, everything else pales in comparison. It was really too late to go in and watch the practice sessions, so we decided to buy stuff and get in line for the autograph session.

The autograph session was held in the same exhibition hall as always. I tried to focus on getting the autographs I didn't have, which meant not getting in Danica's line. I already had her sign my copy of her book (addressing it to me), so I'm happy with that. Besides, I'm not all that proud of her performance or her attitude this year. I made sure to get Marco and Dario's autographs. I got just about everyone I wanted by the time the session was over.

We found good spots in the Commonwealth section, all the way at the back where the skyboxes cover it. Good cover just in case it rained.

And rain it did. All of a sudded, there was a terrential downpour that continued for about an hour. Qualifying would be decided on points standings, which meant that Dario had the pole.

Saturday morning looked much better. We arrived at the track around 9am, early enough to get our pit passes and spend a little money on souvenirs. 11 came around and it was time for the previous night's midget car race. It really wasn't very exciting, and pole winner Bobby East didn't have much competition until the last few laps. We left our seats and headed back out to the midway and settle on ice cream at Haagen Dazs. It was blazing-so hot that I decided only water would do the whole day.

We entered the Paddock Club at 2 and no sooner did we hit out seats that Milka Duno arrived to talk to us. She was very friendly, but very hard to understand. Hopefully her English will improve as she spends more time in the series. Danica showed up next and supplied us with some attitude, although she did poke fun at her incident with Dan Wheldon at Milwaukee. There was this annoying woman in front of me who kept blocking all my shots. Before Tony Kanaan and Dario Franchitti got there, I made sure I had a much better spot, which I think my pics and video demonstrate. I didn't move from that spot until Sarah Fisher came, who was very friendly and had a lot to share about why she came back to open wheel racing. I remember seeing her for the first time in 2002 at the first SunTrust Indy Challenge I attended. It's good to have her back in open wheel racing.

After gorging ourselves at the Paddock Club, it was time for the main event. Sam Hornish Jr. spun out on the opening lap, but did recover and was able to get back in the game. But no one save the Target boys could hold a candle to Andretti Green's dominance. Tony led a few laps, but Dario dominated the entire race. Tomas Scheckter and Danica did make great strides, but Tomas pitted just as a caution for Jeff Simmons' accident appeared, which screwed him royally. Like the 2006 race, there were very few cautions, which made for a fast race. Dario picked up his third victory and cemented his points lead. Scott Dixon presented a good challenge towards the end but had to settle for second. I'm glad Dario won-I was getting tired of seeing either Penske or Target win, even though Dan and Scott are my favorites. As always, anything is possible at Richmond.

Franchitti Wins Iowa Crashfest

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 03:38:00 +0000

Dario Franchitti survived the IRL's worst marketing blunder in years to solidify his points lead going to Richmond on Saturday.

Last year, the IRL tested at Iowa Speedway in Newton, Iowa, a track which Rusty Wallace designed. Rusty is, of course, famous as a N***** driver, and also for such glorious faux pas as this gem at Richmond last year:

You can still drive an Indy car without a clutch. You just can't slow down and you can't stop.

Anyone who allows a man who makes such moronic comments to design a track is asking for trouble. Second of all, this track has a capacity of 25,000. Even at stock car-dominated Richmond, the SunTrust Indy Challenge attracts between 50,000 and 60,000, and it increases every year. The Midwest is a huge market for the IRL, so why blow a weekend on such a small track? Keep doing this and they'll be on the fast track to no major network coverage for races.

Everyone was expecting track temperatures to be 20 degrees higher than what they were, which meant everyone was racing on the wrong tires. What did this mean? Dan Wheldon and Tomas Scheckter took each other out on the first lap. Scott Dixon had the pole, but ended up retiring the car due to steering problems. There were at least eight cautions (it got so boring, I paid more attention to my ironing)as driver after driver was taken out. But Dario and Marco Andretti held out long enough to give Andretti Green a 1-2 finish.

Next weekend we're off to Richmond, where Dario has always done well, and where last year's race had NO cautions. I will be at the track on Friday and will have posts on qualifying and other goings-on like the autograph session. Here's hoping we'll have racing perfection at Richmond on Saturday night!

Rush Rocks Hampton Roads

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 03:21:00 +0000

Rush made a surprising appearance at the Virginia Beach Amphitheater on Friday. I've been a fan of theirs since I discovered the Chronicles set my junior year of high school. They were touring to support their new album Snakes & Arrows. I'd never seen them in concert before, and I was in for a treat. This was the best concert I've been to in the past five years. Though the boys are all in their fifties now, they can easily outperform bands half their age. Opening up with Limelight, they interspersed some classics with the new material, which is one of their better albums in recent years. After a brief intermission, which Geddy Lee contributed to "aging", they started the second set with Far Cry, the first single off Snakes & Arrows, which was a high powered kick in the face. All this was accompanied by a light and screen show rivaled only by Pink Floyd. Neil Peart reinforced my opinion that he is the best drummer in the world, hands down, after a blistering solo that could put anyone else to shame. Alex Leifson had some impressive guitar solos as well. Some of the classics played included Subdivisions (one of my favorites), Tom Sawyer, Freewill, Spirit of Radio, and A Passage To Bangkok. I paid $62.50 for my ticket, but those guys earned every penny. I hope I get to see them again someday.

AAF Tank Museum

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 21:24:00 +0000

Last Saturday, the crew and I headed out to Danville to visit the AAF Tank Museum. This is one of the coolest museums I've ever been to, outside of the Smithsonians and the Imperial War Museum in London. What a place! So many different tanks and artillery pieces, not to mention uniforms and weapons too. And the best part, there is a RC tank battlefield where enthusiasts come from all over Virginia, North Carolina, and as far north as New Jersey to recreate battles. Some of the guys there were kind enough to give us a little demonstration of what a battle would be like, which I recorded and placed on my YouTube page. Check it out!! I think I have a new hobby! Pics will soon be added to the Flickr page! In the meantime, check out this site and this site.

2007 Indy 500

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 01:12:00 +0000

So, it's been ages since I've posted anything on this blog. I took a month off, studied like hell for another part of the exam, took it, and then headed off for Indianapolis. The week before the race was my first week back from vacation, and it sucked trying to get everything sorted. I was out of town for three days, stuff didn't get done while I was gone, and the week after the race was going to suck too. But at 5pm that Friday, everything changed. I stopped caring about work and focused on nothing but the race. That night I fell asleep listening to the IMS weekly podcast, remembering what it was like two years ago when we were there for the first time. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep at all.

Saturday morning, I was up like a shot, getting ready a whole hour earlier than I needed to, as if the plane would take off quicker if we got there earlier. Instead of flying out of Norfolk, we got a deal on AirTran tickets if we flew out of Newport News. I had never flown out of Newport News before, or even set foot in the airport before, but it's even smaller than Norfolk, and only has six gates, and no Starbucks. We had to go through the usual TSA hoops, but our flight to Atlanta was uneventful. At least AirTran has XM radio that you can listen to, with almost all the channels available on the normal receiver. Aside from a bumpy landing in Atlanta, the flight was pretty pleasant, as flying goes for someone who loves to travel, but doesn't care much for flying!

Hartsfield-Jackson is a unique challenge every time I fly to Atlanta. The one thing I really like about is the concourse shuttle that gets you to the other terminals pretty quickly. The downside is that the airport is always crowded, and Memorial Day weekend is no exception. We arrived shortly before noon, and our early morning Golden Corral breakfast buffet had all but evaporated. Hartsfield has everything from a Nathan's Hot Dogs to Quizno's to Seattle's Best Coffee. Quizno's had the shortest line, which meant that we waited for almost 20 minutes to get our food. That only left us about 10 minutes to scarf it down before we hopped on the plane to Indianapolis. We boarded our flight to Indy filled with turkey ranch and swiss goodness.

Thankfully, the flight to Indy was a lot smoother. We arrived there too late to go to the track, but we were blessed by two things after we arrived at the hotel. One, there was a Steak N' Shake not 200 yards from the hotel. Seven years ago, I had my first taste of Steak N' Shake when we went to Georgia for my grandmother's funeral. They still don't have any locations in Virginia, but on my trips to Greensboro, I always stop in at one. I have heard other people in Florida and North Carolina call it Steak N' Shit or Steak N' Puke, but I think it's way better than any other fast food out there. No one can touch their shakes. Unfortunately, the ones in Indiana don't know what sweet tea is, but I can overlook that.

After a gorging there, we headed back to the hotel to find Office Space on Comedy Central. I hadn't seen it in ages, so I think I laughed extra hard. My joy at watching that was overshadowed by the rain falling outside. Not a light sprinkle, but some serious rain. I was starting to get worried.

Sunday morning couldn't come early enough. I headed down to the lobby for the complimentary Hampton Inn breakfast, which was a little different than what I was used to-this one had little omelettes as opposed to biscuits and gravy, but they still had the danishes and the same coffee, which was good. Everyone was watching the Monaco GP, as if to ignore the rain outside and imagine that we were somewhere sunny. I hadn't brought any raingear, not even a poncho. The only protection I had was my trusty IndyCar Series hat. The hotel management was nice enough to provide us with black garbage bags in case of the inevitable. I took one and hoped for the best. It was time to board the bus.

The bus ride took about 30 minutes to get from our hotel on the south side of Indy to the track. It took us through downtown, which appears fairly nice from the comfort of the bus, but we went through the hood to get there. It was like miles and miles of South Norfolk-esque blight. Actually, I think some of those houses and streets made South Norfolk look good. I had once thought about moving to Indy, but this trip changed my mind. I would prefer to stay in the South!

Thankfully, we had time to go to the Museum. It was a little rushed, and it was totally packed, but I got some really sweet shots. They're all up on the Flickr page for your viewing pleasure.

By the time we got settled into our seats, the track was completely dry and they could start the race as scheduled. Things were starting to look up as the pre-race proceedings started. Unfortunately, Jim Nabors was unable to sing Back Home In Indiana, but Florence Henderson was present to sing God Bless America. Then we were treated to a flyover by 4 F-22 Raptors from none other than Langley AFB! I was shocked that they would fly halfway across the country for that. I'm sure Indiana has at least one Air Force base!

The race went suprisingly well, with the usual people going out or causing others to go out. It wasn't long before John Andretti, Phil Geibler, and Milka Duno were toast. One of the most memorable moments was when Tomas Scheckter and Sam Hornish Jr. were pulling into pit row, and their cars touched slightly. Tomas's left front wing ended up in the stands above us. I don't know if the TV caught it or not, and it happened too quick for me to catch on video. Unfortunately, the spectre of rain showed up again, temporarily delaying the race. This was good in a way, it gave us a chance to get some food and new batteries for the scanner intercom. The race restarted about 4pm, and the weather looked as if it would hold off long enough to finish the race. But a few laps in, a new pattern was spotted. Every driver on the lead lap drove as if each lap would be the last, and the most impressive was Danica. She surged all the way to 2nd before losing momentum to her teammate, Dario Franchitti, who would end up winning. Marco Andretti spun out a few laps before the rain started again, which seems to be indicative of his season. We headed for cover as quickly as possible.

Maybe I was being an optimist in not planning for rain, but I was glad I took the garbage bags. That became my de facto raincoat for the long hike back to the bus and the hotel. All my precious goodies were protected, but my sandals were ruined. We flew back to Newport News where the temperature was 89 when we landed. I settled down to have a nice Memorial Day cookout, and to plan next year's trip back to the Brickyard.

Tristan Da Cunha, Here I Come...

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:05:00 +0000

I have my found my retirement spot.

I subscribe to the Lonely Planet podcast series. The latest entry concerns the remotest island in the world-Tristan Da Cunha. It's a British protectorate about halfway between Montevideo, Uruguay, and Cape Town, South Africa. You have to take a supply ship out of Cape Town to get there, and the populaton is only 269 people. Taxes amount to about 3 pounds sterling per islander (US$4.50 at the current exchange rate), and lobster is abundant and about 80p (US$1.20). The island derives most of its living from crayfish and lobster. They have all the modern amenities; an internet newspaper, British Forces Television (from the Falklands), and a hospital. There is virtually no tourism. Sounds good. The downside, you ask? The weather can be brutal, so brutal that the Cape Town supply ship sometimes has to turn around and head back, and passengers can't disembark. Oh, and the island is volcanic. It last erupted in 1961, and all of the islanders were evacuated to the mother country. Despite their exposure to London in the swinging sixties, all of them came back eventually. And who would blame them? There is no crime on the island, you don't need a car, and you can make a living off fishing. It's like being Robinson Crusoe, but still having civlization within a reasonable distance. I'm going to start looking for property.

Chevy Rock 'N Roll 400, IRL Season Finale, 30th Birthday, San Diego

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:55:00 +0000

(This entry was previously posted on Yahoo!)

Well, it's been a while since I've written an entry. A lot has been going on lately.

On Saturday the 9th, I went to the Chevy Rock 'N Roll 400 at RIR. As usual, we stopped at Pierce's BBQ for lunch. It's in Williamsburg, and I highly recommend it. Usually Virgnia BBQ isn't very good, but this could make an Al-Qaida sleeper's mouth water. Mmmmm, forbidden meat. You can find them on the web here.

So we spent most of the day at the Catepillar hospitality tent, which was stocked with BBQ, hot dogs, brats, and plenty of booze. I asked where the PBR was, and I got strange looks. Hey, it's not NASCAR without PBR!

The weather was great, much cooler than the IRL race in June. I took the new firm beach bag that we were all given. I'm going to take it to all the races in the future. It has a see through mesh section that made it a breeze to show to security, plus it's not as bulky as my messenger bag.

We were "treated" to a concert by Barenaked Ladies. Last year, it was Trapt. I never got into BNL, and I was surprised that NASCAR will allow a Canadian band to sing the national anthem. Not that I have anything against Canada or Canadians...but the typical NASCAR fan would have been pissed had they known. I don't think they're core listeners of BNL, so a riot was averted.

The race was typical Richmond action. Denny Hamlin made a great start, only to fall apart towards the end. Kasey Kahne made the most impressive jump, leading and finally finishing third, earning his way into the Chase. The California boys, Jimmie Johnson and Jeff Gordon, got their usual abysmal reception, and both did poorly. When the driver introductions were taking place, a guy two rows down from us yelled "GO BACK TO CALIFORNIA!" at both of them. Kevin Harvick, one of the other California boys, ended up winning, a move that pushed him into the points lead over Johnson. I had a blast, and left Richmond a tired man.

That wasn't a good thing.

I mulled over packing for my trip to San Diego that morning, on the rationale that my clothes would be more wrinkled if they were packed for a whole day. I didn't plan on going to sleep that night, because my flight was at 6:30 the next morning. I got home about midnight, packing most of everything, and then falling asleep on the couch with ESPN still on. I woke up about 4:15, and got to the airport about 5:15. Everything went smooth, even though I got padded down by the TSA goons. After the London scare, I think it's justified. I did notice one thing that didn't sit well. I flew on Delta, and the flight to Cincinnati was a Comair flight-there was a crash there a few weeks back. I tried to sleep on the plane, but that seemed to stick with me the whole time. But we landed safe and sound, and I headed off to Starbucks for a well-earned caramel macchiato and apple danish. Those snacks on the plane don't do anything for me.

The flight to San Diego was pleasant. They showed X-Men: The Last Stand, but I opted out of the $2 headphones, because I already knew it sucked. I got some sleep on the plane, but once we begin the final descent, I like to see the surroundings and count down until the wheels hit the ground. I was totally surprised to find the airport so close to downtown. Once I checked into the hotel, I saw a commercial for a proposition to move the airport further into San Diego County. They have a proposition for everything in the People's Republic of California.

I was able to watch the IRL season finale. This has been the most exciting season since I started following the sport in 2001. Each lap finished meant a point earned for the top four, but even though Dan Wheldon won the race, Sam Hornish Jr. edged him out just barely for the championship. Dan, of course, was a gracious loser, just as Sam was a humble winner. I'm not a particular fan of Hornish or Team Penske, but I do respect Sam and the way he carries himself. There are very few American drivers in the IRL these days, but the ones we do have are class acts. I'm looking forward to next season already, keeping my fingers crossed that the series will return to RIR.

On Monday, the 11th, after observing the moments of silence and some introspection, I ventured out into San Diego. Like Norfolk, San Diego is a Navy town, and there are plenty of attractions that celebrate its maritime heritage. My first stop was the Maritime Museum, with two sailing ships and one retired Soviet Foxtrot-class diesel submarine. I have some great pictures of these ships on the Flickr photostream. One of the sailing ships turned out to be the HMS Surprise, which the 2003 file Master and Commander was filmed on. I had no idea any of this stuff was there, so it was a pleasant surprise.

The USS Midway Museum was a complete surprise too. Norfolk has the battleship USS Wisconsin as a floating museum, so San Diego got the aircraft carrier Midway. I got there too late in the afternoon to tour the island, but I got to see just about every other part of the ship. I have some pics taken from the outside on the Flickr page as well.

On Tuesday, our class started, with people from all over the country. There were three other CPAs there, and eight people from financial insitutions or data processors. The class was very interesting and held my attention. The food was wonderful, which was a shocker. I don't think I've ever eaten so well in my life. It's a good thing I did so much walking around to burn it all off.

No sooner did we get out of the class that everyone wanted to go out. Since I had the previous day to get familiar with the city I knew where a lot of the good places were. San Diego has a great trolley system that's clean and even goes all the way to Tiajuana. I expected it to get a little freaky at night (after all, it IS California), but there weren't any more weirdos than you'd see on the DC Metro, or the MARTA in Atlanta. We settled on a Hawaiian restaurant in the Gaslamp District, where I had my first mai tai. It was really good. I felt completely safe walking around San Diego at night, not to mention the gorgeous weather. 70 degrees, very little humidity, not a cloud in the sky. And it stayed that way just about all week.

Thursday was my birthday, and I decided to celebrate at Outback. That's exactly what I would have done if I were home. Friday we took our exam and got out of class early, so I decided to go to Coronado and check it out. The Hotel Del Coronado is a turn of the century hotel where the bellboys wear vests and bowlers just like they would have 100 years ago. There are all kinds of shops in the basement, and there is access to the beach facing San Diego Bay. I had a lovely salmon dinner with a gin and tonic, a perfect ending to a wonderful trip. I got back to the hotel and packed, because I needed to leave the hotel no later than 8 on Saturday. I decided to get breakfast in the room, figuring I wouldn't have a decent meal until I landed in Atlanta. And I was right-we got the same snacks we had on the flight to San Diego. I wonder if I'll ever have a decent meal on a flight again. They showed Poseidon as the in-flight movie, which I thought was poor judgment. Why would anyone in their right mind show a disaster movie on a flight? Why not show us United 93? I didn't watch it, instead I read one of the books I bought at the Maritime Museum. When we landed in Atlanta, I was greeted with 89 degrees and overpowering humidity. Welcome back to the East Coast. I had a great time in San Diego, and I'll definitely be back.

Robotech Is Back!

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 14:09:00 +0000

(This blog post was previously published on Yahoo!)

Well, I haven't posted anything since my politically incorrect Christmas Day entry. That's becuase once again, things have kicked into high gear. I'm happy to say that busy season is progressing quite well, we've done better than we've ever done on the banks and their returns. We've still got some kinks to work out, but having staff under me that are capable of doing the work has really helped out. I did pass the one part of the CPA exam that I took, so I'm psyched about that. It was the shot in the arm that I needed.

There are a few things that happen every busy season that brighten up everyone's life. For me, it's the start of the F1 and IRL seasons, sometimes a movie or two. Last year, it was V For Vendetta, but the most anticipated movie in a long while has been Robotech: The Shadow Chronicles.

How do I explain this? It's like being a Star Wars fan, growing up with the original trilogy, but having to wait 6 years longer for a follow-up. The difference with Robotech is that before the Shadow Chronicles came out, there was plenty of filler-comics and novels. We had the Sentinels comics to bridge the gap between the destruction of the SDF-2 in the Macross Saga to Dana Sterling's graduation in the first Masters episode. And thanks to Jack McKinney, we had End of the Circle, which wrapped up the whole series. We thought we know what happened to the SDF-3, Admiral Hunter & Co. We discovered the secrets of Robotechnology, and whether we liked it or not, we had an ending that gave us closure.

We were wrong.

Ever since Robotech.com was started in 2001, we've discovered that the McKinney novels are no longer canon. I equate this to finding out that Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny are a massive conspiracy by parents to make you behave. I wasn't exactly happy with the End of the Circle, but I accepted it. I loved the Sentinels comics, because I was there from the start (I got into Robotech after it went off the air). Even with these preconceived notions about what a sequel should be like, I remained open-minded. Last year, Robotech.com previewed a trailer of the Shadow Chronicles that gave me goosebumps. I was very excited-I think it's the most played video on my iPod.

On Tuesday, it was finally released on DVD. Some lucky fans who live in larger cities got to see it on the big screen. It wasn't even close to Norfolk-not even DC, Baltimore, or Philly got it. I watched it last night, I had to brave Wal-Mart to get a copy, so that shows how dedicated I am!

2044 AD-The movie opens with two Alpha fighters on a patrol over Earth. They're stationed at Moon Base Aluce, which has become a rally point in the Third Robotech War against the Invid. As the pilots converse, we discover one of them is Marcus Rush, sister to Marlene Rush, the late fiancee of Scott Bernard. Marcus enlightens us about the ill-fated attempt of the REF to take Reflex Point, the battle in which his sister and maybe even Scott himself were killed. Marcus doesn't know that Scott is still alive and had led the resistance against the Invid. He carried with him a hologram locket, similar to the one that Marlene gave Scott. Seeing that gave me goosebumps. Marcus and his wingman, Alex Romero, return to Moon Base Aluce, to be briefed by General Reinhardt about the impending offensive on Reflex Point. Reinhardt has been in contact with Admiral Rick Hunter, who is just about to fold back to Earth and join the assault. General Reinhardt informs his pilots that should their offensive be turned back, the REF will have no choice but to use the new Neutron missile brought back from their mission.
There is much dissent about this move, but Reinhardt makes it clear that the Invid must go at all costs.

At this point, we're "re-introduced" to Vince Grant. Vince Grant is the brother of Claudia Grant from the Macross Saga, who along with the rest of the SDF-1 crew, was killed in Khyron's suicide run in the final episode of the Macross Saga. Vince is also Bowie Grant's father. Captain of the REF ship Icarus, Grant has returned to join the fight against the Invid. The two officer have a brief videoconference with Admiral Hunter. Rick's hair is completely white, and he has a small scar on the right side of his face. The conversation doesn't last long, as the signal breaks up and it appears that the SDF-3 has been attacked, but Reinhardt receives his marching orders: Don't wait for the SDF-3. Grant is distraught; he wants to help fight the Invid, but he feels an overwhelming duty to find and assist Admiral Hunter. After pleading with Reinhardt, he gets permission to take the Icarus on a rescue mission, under the condition that only his crew can know the mission. With Masters veteran Louis Nichols in tow, Grant takes off in search of his old friend.

Alex and Marcus head out to their Alpha fighters. Marcus is intrigued by a pretty female pilot, but doesn't have the nerve to speak to her, except to say that the skull on her flight suit looks good on her. He immediately regrets it, as she digs at him by saying, "Maybe one day, you'll be good enough to have one of these." Thoroughly embarrassed now, Marcus straps himself in to being the assault.

As the fleet makes its way toward Earth, Invid sensor arrays detect their activity. Not since the first episode of New Generation have we seen so many clamships racing up towards space. The battle that ensues is magnificently rendered. Imagine a battle scene from Star Wars, but only animated, and you can grasp how beautiful it is.

As the Alpha fighters break through the atmosphere and being to attack Reflex Point, an old hero emerges. Scott Bernard sees his former love, Ariel, heading back into the hive. Landing his Alpha, he talks with her. She feel she must intercede with the Regis to end the conflict. She pleads with the Regis, who leaves Earth, not because she understands Ariel's take, but because she notices that this new REF force employs Shadow technology, a science used by an enemy who drove the Invid from Optera many generations ago. The Regis leaves Ariel with a warning: staying with the humans will only bring destruction from the Children of the Shadow. Ariel doesn't know (nor does Scott ) what exactly this means, but the Invid flee Earth. Though the cost to the REF has been high, Earth is free. Alex and Marcus cannot help but feel as if something is wrong. There is not much celebration.

After the battle, Alex and Marcus discover that the pretty young female pilot is half-Zentraedi, and her name is Maya Sterling. She is the third daughter of Max and Miriya Sterling (Dana being the first, and Aurora being the second), and we discover a little more about the Shadow technology from Janice Em, an android partially created by the Haydonites, who assisted the REF in their fight against the Masters and the Invid after the First Robotech War. Louie Nichols, the nerd that he is, is very interested in what Janice can tell him about the Haydonites and their technology.

Meanwhile, Grant and the Icarus have found the SDF-3. It was attacked and never able to conduct a space fold. It is dangerously close to a black hole, and the Icarus attempts to maneuver close enough to envelop the SDF-3 is its fold sphere. As the Icarus begins fold operations, she is attacked by an unknown enemy. Grant to forced to abandon his old friend for the sake of warning the fleet of this new enemy. He suffers a broken leg, but this doesn't compare to the hell he is enduring for abandoning Rick. Vince has realized what has gone wrong. The REF have been double crossed into using the Shadow technology of the Haydonites, who want nothing more that to monopolize the use of Robotechnology and protoculture throughout the universe. Now that the Invid are gone, the REF must defend Earth against the Haydonites.

Overall, I give the movie a 3.75 out of 4. The animation is fantastic, the voice actors are great, and there are so many elements of the original series that make you smile. Especially Janice singing the Minmei song in the bar. The music, especially the new version of the main theme, will give you goosebumps. The lack of original series characters brings the plot down. We have no Lisa, no Max, no Miriya, no Minmei, no Dana, no Bowie. Where is Rand? Rook? Lunk? We don't really find out what happened to Rick and the SDF-3. While the ship was close to the black hole, Vince harbors a hope that somehow they survived. And the fight with the Haydonites is far from over. I'm hoping that the Shadow Chronicles is the first in a series of DVDs that revives the Robotech franchise. From what I saw and heard on the documentary blurb, I think I'm right.

Free At Last, Free At Last!

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 22:02:00 +0000

Ok, so I haven't blogged in a few weeks, many things going on with the end of busy season, but now the end is here, and holidays will soon be taken. So much has taken place in the past few weeks, where do I begin?

Well, Monday I was in the Suffolk office to meet with a client, and on my way back to Norfolk, I hear on the radio that there's been a shooting at Virginia Tech. This was around 11 or so, and they didn't have many details yet. I get back to the Norfolk office to find out that 32 people have been killed, and the gunman killed himself before police could apprehend him. I was in utter shock, as I think most people were. This massacre now surpasses the famous Texas tower sniper, Charles Whitman, who in 1966 took up post in a tower on UT-Austin's campus and killed 16 people before police finally stormed the tower and killed him.

I don't even know what to say...this appears to be a colossal clusterfuck on the part of the VT administration. This guy had a history of problems at the school, but this all seemed to get lost in the shuffle. Had the police reacted quicker, only two people might have been killed. But VT cops, or Hokie Smokies in the vernacular, are not equipped to handle such situations, apparently. They're probably better suited to handling unruly fans at sporting events, and breaking up the occasional party in the dorm. I thought 9/11 brought everyone to their senses about this sort of stuff, but apparently memories are short.

In lighter news, I have really been enjoying the past few race weekends. While watching the St. Petersburg Grand Prix on a Canadian satellite feed, I was treated to hearing Kosuke Matsuura say how "fucking disappointed" he was that he wrecked early on. Woohoo for no 7 second delay! Of course, we paid for it later on in the day when the dish crapped out and we were forced to resort to live timing and scoring on indycar.com. I wish we hadn't lost the dish, we could watch IRL, F1 and Champ Car on American cable, but now we lose all the good NHL playoff coverage! Arrrrrgh!

Speaking of F1, how about that Lewis Hamilton? Capturing the pole at Bahrain, he still ended up finishing second after Felipe Massa, who had the pole at Sepang, but ran off the track after a psyche out by Hamilton. Kimi did well and finished third, but Mr. Hamilton is on fire. I think he'll win a race before the season is out.

In ChampCar news, Sebastian Bourdais is back on top over his disappointing wipeout at Vegas, winning the Long Beach GP. ChampCar is now on ESPN and NBC, as opposed to being solely on SPEED, which is a step up. Hopefully, this will be a boost for open wheel racing vs. the N word. IRL is on both ABC and ESPN and gets higher ratings. Maybe one day those two will kiss and make up and we'll have one open wheel series again.

Now that busy season is over, I'm going on Her's Majesty Social Service for the next month. There will still be blog entries, hopefully more than in the past few weeks, for all those who have nothing better to do with their time than read.

Wheldon Schools Everyone at IRL Opener

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 00:42:00 +0000

Well, one of the other signs that the end of busy season is near is also here. IRL is back! But like Formula 1, some things don't change. Here's the highlights of the action at Homestead:

Everyone is running 100% ethanol. Yes, while the N-word just switched from LEADED GASOLINE last season, IRL is once again cutting edge in choice of fuels, and is still the safest series out there. This is what Paul Dana wanted, and it's tragic that he never got to see it come to fruition.

Sparks flew on the first lap. At first I thought it was some sort of terrorist attack, but it was because the cars were so weighed down with fuel, they were actually dragging the track. It made for a dramatic opening.

Danica is now with Andretti Green, and she was clearly not happy starting 10th, and let everyone know it. While the pouty bit might look cute to her husband, it annoys me. Put on your big girl panties on and start driving like you mean it! She held her own, but crashed into the wall during a pit stop after a steering malfunction.

Sarah Fisher is back. Dreyer and Reinbold Racing brought her back, along with Buddy Rice, who was fired from Rahal Letterman. Sarah surprised me by actually finishing the race, three places ahead of Danica. However, she was three laps down.

Marco Andretti was surprisingly the first car to go out due to tire problems. I chalk this up to being a fluke, as he will go to F1 in two years and make everyone say "Scott who?"

Tomas Scheckter (my favorite driver)actually finished the race 8th and surged as far as 3rd at one point. I think the move to Vision Racing will pay off for Tomas this season.

A.J. Foyt IV is back. But is he driving for his grandfather? Hell no. Super Tex has brought back Darren Manning, the Geordie no one can understand. These two collided early on and went out. I can't say I was surprised.

Dan Wheldon took the whole pack to school by leading 170+ laps, with teammate Scott Dixon right behind. Sam Hornish finished third with a strong showing. So, the song remains the same. It comes down to Target Chip Ganassi vs. Penske. And those guys couldn't be happier, or friendlier. Last year, when the rains in Pennsylvania flooded out Penske's Reading IRL shop, Ganassi offered the Captain his Charlotte N***** shop until they could get everything set up in Detroit. I shudder to think what the 2006 season would've been like had this natural disaster ended the competition between those two. It turned up being a race down to the last lap for the title.

I'm hoping 2007 will be just as exciting. Guess we'll find out Sunday at the St. Petersburg Grand Prix. I got two new people hooked this weekend. Now I think they know why I love this stuff so much. It's like crack!

300 Review

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 01:40:00 +0000

I finally got to see 300 this weekend. The latest release from the WB/DC partnership brings Frank Miller's classic graphic novel about the Battle of Thermopylae to the big screen. I have been looking forward to this for quite some time, as I immensely enjoy most of Miller's work: Ronin, The Dark Knight Returns, and Batman: Year One. You'd think this one was only a comic that a history geek could love, but you'd be wrong. Only Miller could take an obscure ancient historical event and make it into a sweeping saga. The movie did not disappoint.

300 gets most of the story correct. Sparta was one of the ancient Greek city-states that pioneered democracy. Spartans prided themselves on their independence and fighting skills, their principles of equality, and the rule of law. From the East comes a menace to the principles and freedom of Sparta: emissaries from the Persian king Xerxes. Xerxes fancies himself as a god whose destiny is to rule all he surveys. His campaign has taken him as far as Greece. Leonidas, king of Sparta, has undergone the same training and hardships as the lowliest of his soldiers, and he is not easily shaken by Xerxes' messenger. Leonidas has enemies within however, and not everyone in Sparta's council shares his courage. At every turn, he is hamstrung by corrupt religious leaders and council members, who will not commit Sparta's army to the coming conflict. Leonidas is forced to compromise by selecting 300 "volunteers" to block the Persian advance at the pass at Thermopylae, the only road to Sparta and other Greek city-states.

The movie is visually stunning. The only other movie I can compare it to in terms of style is Sin City. Action takes place in slow motion and fast forward. We see a Spartan run a Persian through with his spear, and the scene slows down to show the gory details of the event. It is a very violent movie, even more so than Braveheart and Saving Private Ryan. It no doubt is a realistic dramatization of the battle as it really occurred, but there are some more sensational characters and scenes where Miller took artistic license. The so-called "Immortals" of Xerxes look like ninjas from a really really bad Hong Kong action movie; there are also some characters that would look more at home in Lord of the Rings than the ancient world. But on the whole, the fighting scenes are realistic, right down to the way the Phalanx operates.

There are also some political themes that run through the story. The Spartan belief in freedom is a sharp contrast to the force of Xerxes, who are numbered entirely by slaves and the conquered. Free men are apparently better fighters, and the Persians cower in their presence, and must be whipped to charge the Phalanx to their gruesome deaths. The Spartans are all fit, manly men who laugh in the face of the overwhelming Persian army, and relish the idea of dying in glorious defense of Sparta. The Persians are all unattractive cowards, and Xerxes himself is the most androgynous king (dare I say queen?) I've ever seen. I thought people nowadays had too many piercings...you could have another gold rush on this guy alone. Art imitating life...this whole movie seems to be about the US being the only country to stand up to Iran's nuclear ambitions (Iran = modern-day Persia). Even if this is the case, 300 is a movie you're not likely to forget anytime soon.

Kimi Wins Down Under (Or, the more things change...)

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 01:15:00 +0000

Well, I was sitting with great anticipation on Saturday night for the season opener Australian Grand Prix. As I mentioned in my previous blog entry, Kimi Raikkonen took the pole in his first outing for Ferrari. Even though you might call me biased, I wasn't surprised. Kimi is an excellent natural driver and all he needs to succeed is a reliable car. You can say the same thing for Alonso, but he only qualified a disappointing 7th. I wasn't surprised by that either. In the last season, Kimi wasn't hamstrung by his own driving, but by the car itself. Put the world champion in a substandard car and you won't win races. But, as so many other things in Formula 1, qualifying can be deceiving.

Kimi maintained the lead throughout the race, save a few laps after making a pit stop. Alonso made the most remarkable lead, finishing second and giving Kimi a run for his money. We had the usual hits and near misses-David Coulthard nearly decapitated Austrian rookie Alex Wurz by sideswiping and then flying over Wurz's car. Christian Albers didn't last long, along with British rookie Anthony Davidson. But the most surprising and brilliant performance has to go to British rookie Lewis Hamilton, who led the race for the few laps and finished third. Unlike a lot of the other rookies, Hamilton's not shy. He can be as aggressive as the most veteran driver. That seems to be the biggest thing for these guys to overcome. I think everyone is impressed with Hamilton, and he will be watched closely. I don't think it's possible for him to be watched more closely than he already is, being Britain's first Afro-Caribbean driver. I don't think that should be a factor; Britain deserves a good driver, and let's face it, Coulthard and Button don't quite cut it. Just to be fair, I feel the same way about Scott Speed. Winning a contest doesn't make you a good driver. I can't wait for Marco Andretti to go to Formula 1 to give us Yanks the driver we deserve.

Yes, I'm happy that Kimi won. I predicted he would do well after the Ferrari announcement. Even though we may have a new champion this year, one thing hasn't changed much: Ferrari is still a dominant force in Schumacher's wake.

Formula 1 Season Opener!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 02:08:00 +0000

Ah, at long last, it begins again.

The high-pitched whine of turbocharged engines. The shimmering heat on the track. The smell of high octane fumes. Well, only if you're at the track. The winding curves, near misses, collisions, and photo finishes. Oh, did I mention scantily clad grid girls?

That's right, Formula 1 is back. The biggest excuse to drink and yell at the TV since the Super Bowl has arrived! Qualifying begins on Friday for the Australian Grand Prix, held at Melbourne's Albert Park. I look forward to seeing how the mix-up affects everything. 2006 didn't see much driver turnover, but 2007 is chock full of changes. Alonso at McLaren, Raikkonen at Ferrari. But there is reason to rejoice:

NO MORE SCHUMACHER!!!!!!!!
(unless you count Ralf...and who does???)

Gentlemen, start your engines!

Funny Story (I need it)

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Thu, 15 Mar 2007 01:18:00 +0000

Ok, I pull this one out every blue moon when I've had a really bad day, week, month....and it never fails to make me smile. Enjoy!

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone….don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know!!!

Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying,
"Hello?" I politely said,
"This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled:
"You're a jackass!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass," and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It would always cheer me up.

Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jackass. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice,
"Hello." I made up a name.
"Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?" He went,
"No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said,
"That's because you're a jackass!"

The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if here's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 823-4863.

[Keep reading, it gets better.]

The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black Camaro come flying up the parking isle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space.
I started honking my horn and yelling,
"You can't just do that, Buddy. I was here first!"
The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there sure a lot of jackasses in this world. I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park. A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling,
"You're a jackass!"
(It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.)
I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too. After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said,
"Hello." I said,
"Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front." I said,
"What's your name?"
"My name is Don Hansen."
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home in the evenings."
"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes,"
"Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down.
After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call. Then, after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution: First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1. A man answered nicely saying,
"Hello." I yelled,
"You're a jackass!” but I didn't hang up. The jackass said,
"Are you still there?" I said,
"Yeah."
"Stop calling me." I said,
"No." He said,
"What's your name, Pal?" I said,
"Don Hansen." He said
"Where do you live?"
"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up. Then I called Jackass #2. He answered,
"Hello." I said,
"Hello, Jackass!" He said,
"If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?"
"I'll kick your ass."
"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now Jackass!" And I hung up. Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home. Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down W. 34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. Glorious! Watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter was one of the greatest experiences of my life!

Every day is exactly the same...

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 00:15:00 +0000

Well, maybe not, but it's starting to feel that way. Nothing really exciting happened today, mostly just a struggle with returns and audits. This is the part of the year where I start to really feel the effects of tax season. I'm in bed by 9 or 9:30. Time for a nightcap before I hit the sack. Later.

Same $#!+, Different Day

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 01:52:00 +0000

So this is the first of my daily posts. I'm making a conscious effort to post every day in this thing. I think the reason why nobody paid attention to my Yahoo! blog was that I didn't post often. Maybe this will be healthy for me, a catharsis for this stressful time of year.

This week we hit the first hurdle for busy season-the March 15th deadline for corporations and S-corps. It's also the time when we have to have all the bank audits wrapped up for the audit committee meetings. This year, we should be able to wrap up everything by the end of this week. But even with all that behind me, things still crop up that frustrate me. I really didn't have to be in the office for that long on Saturday, but one of our tax partners had major surgery in January and has been out of commission for most of busy season. I asked him if he needed help with anything, and he gave me this corporation (I've got a lot of experience with corps) and just asked me to work up an estimate. Well, for me to do that, I had to do the whole return almost. I was there until 6, and I still wasn't done, because there are all kinds of funky issues associated with it. I was hoping to go in today and wrap up a small audit I in-charged last week, but I only spent an hour on it. It's little things like this that ruin my day. Jack Daniels, take me away!!!

Still, I have something to look forward to this weekend. Formula 1 officially kicks off Saturday night with the Australian GP in Melbourne. I haven't had time to keep up with all the gossip, so I don't know how Kimi is faring in the Ferrari. I think I'll go see Breach and 300 this weekend too, and maybe wash the car. The things you don't have time to do when work runs your life.

More tomorrow.

Please allow me to introduce myself...

noreply@blogger.com (swordsman007) — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 03:07:00 +0000

This is my first post. I used to have a blog on Yahoo! 360, but have abandoned it like a prom night baby (yes, I watch Family Guy). I will attempt to explain everything you can know about me in my profile. Look for more posts soon.